Life

Today I read something that at first seemed really stupid and i gave no thought to until an hour ago. “If you’re bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things, You don’t have enough goals.” I used to think i had enough goals until i really thought about this. To be honest, i have been waking up for a long time now, feeling that way. Feeling bored with life and feeling as though i have nothing to wake up to. I wake up and dread going to my first job, come home and wish I was more excited to go to my second. I worry about my mom before i go to sleep. And I miss my friends in between all this. The only good thing that I have in my life right now are the friends that I rarely see and my girlfriend, but I’m worried that all my anger and sadness about everything else will seep into my love life. I’ve been thinking about this for an entire hour. I’ve been reflecting on some life decisions, and feeling regret for some. Up until today, I didn’t realize I didn’t have enough goals. So tonight I’m going to make some, and from now on, I’m going to try my hardest to achieve them. I have a lot written down, but I’m only going to post the most important ones to me.

By the summer of 2015 I want to know exactly what school I want to transfer to, and be near to completing all the requirements. I wasted a lot of time by not going to school, but it’s never too late. I really enjoy school and I want to invest much more of my time in it. I’m glad I finished this semester with a full schedule and received good grades.

By the end of this year, 2014, I want to be in a job that I enjoy going to everyday. I want to be part of a place that i feel i deserve. I’m one of the hardest working people you will ever meet, but i feel that working these two dead end jobs is taking it’s toll on me. Working makes me happy, and i don’t want these jobs to ruin that.

By August of this year, I want to be done paying off all my debt (except for school debt) I want to start building good credit and apply for credit cards and use them responsibly.

By March 13 of 2015 (my birthday) I want to at least have $4000 in savings for a down payment on a newer car. Not a new car, but one that is newer than the one i currently have. 

By as soon as possible, I want to give my mother everything she deserves. The strongest person in my life. We have been through so much together and she has never broken. Although her outlook on certain things have not been agreeable by me and my siblibngs, she is still my mother and I love her. 

By tomorrow, I want to wake up and not be bored with my life. I want to have a desire to reach these goals and be happy. I want to take advantage of the good things in life. I want to cherish the wonderful girlfriend that i have and spend some more time with my mom. I want to hang out with friends more, and make some memories. I want to be happy. I’m going to be happy.

My Mind

My mind races. I’m thinking about this, that. Her him. Why, when? It goes from work, then jumps to thoughts of how my days going. ‘I’m hungry, but for what. I’m tired, what time should I sleep? I wonder who works tomorrow. I hope it isn’t that mean manager. Shit, I like this song! What’s it called? Damn I forgot. Should I go to the bathroom now or later? I wonder why she hasn’t texted me. Oh yeah it’s a Jay-Z song. Fuck it, I’ll just make a soup.’ And then BAM! Blank. Nothing running through my mind. Nothing and no one to think about. Just stuck in a daze that seems to last for days. I sit up and its just like ‘What the fuck do I do now.’ Blank for minutes and then I’m back at it again. For hours and I can’t stop. But which do I prefer. Which would I rather want to drive me crazy? The thoughts or the silence Just the thought of silence is terrifying.. Well it’s not up to me. I get both. But one day I’ll have to choose, right? But what if I choose the silence and miss the constant thoughts racing from one side of my brain to the other and beyond. And now my thoughts spiral out of control. ‘What job will I end up with? I wonder how long it will take me to finish school. I WONDER if I’ll even finish at all. WILL MY DREAMS COME true. WILL WE STILL BE TOGETHER?’ And now my thoughts are at the point it’s getting too loud in my head. My girlfriend is trying to have a conversation with me but I can’t help all of this thinking. What’s wrong with me? Two thoughts going at once, which do I pay attention to? Everything is going so fast.I spend half my shift thinking. I spend half my day dreaming. Half my day in silence. These thoughts. As you can tell, if your still reading this, my mind is going hundreds of miles an hour. But now, now the silence begins.

Reblogged from Juan's World
migaho:

The real big three

migaho:

The real big three

Reblogged from Ev
blackkidfromthesuburbs:

Kobe x Shaq, 3 peat

blackkidfromthesuburbs:

Kobe x Shaq, 3 peat

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Reblogged from ニコール
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Reblogged from Billionaired
Reblogged from Billionaired

I’m not the biggest Lil Wayne fan but he kills this song. And of course T.i. kills it too.

20 Ounce Drink

When I get payed, I usually follow the same routine. I cash my paycheck at a Wal-Mart and always ask the cashier if I could receive all of my hundreds in twenties except for one. Then I take anywhere from forty to eighty dollars and tuck it in my left pocket. I put the rest, with the receipt in my wallet. I go and grab a cart and begin to shop. I rack my brain for what we need at my house. It’s usually the same. Toilet paper, paper towels, drinks, bread, ham. I look at the price and always add the tax and CRV (if needed) and usually round up. So if a drink is 1.28, i add 20 cents and round up to 2 dollars in my head. With the next drink I just add the twenty cents and so on. I do this to prevent me from overspending. Usually I spend the most on drinks, because liquids go by way too quick at my house. I once spent one hundred dollars on just juice, water and other drinks and it only lasted 2 weeks in our house, crazy. Anyway, I head to the line, trying to find the shortest line. What happens next usually makes me extremely happy and is one of my favorite parts of the day, and maybe the week. While I’m in line I  always get a drink from the fridge posted by the cashier. It’s usually a 20 ounce bottle that costs 1.58. I still buy it knowing I have a 2 liter of the same flavor drink for about thirty cents cheaper. There is something about doing this that makes me feel good about myself. I really can’t tell what it is.Maybe it’s having the ability to do it. Being able to do it is amazing, even if it is just once every two weeks. I want to grow up and show my kids that when you work hard you have the ability to spend $1.58 on a 20 ounce drink. When you work hard, you have the ability to do anything you want. Working hard isn’t easy and it’s something that not everyone can do. It’s something only people who are blessed can do. I want my future kids to know that it’s okay to struggle while your working hard (Like having to round up the price ch report, of what you’re buying to not overspend) because it all pays off at the end. Whether it’s working hard in school, your job, your career, relationship, whatever. It always pays off. And just to be clear, it’s not about money. It’s not about what you have and if you have better stuff than other people. This is just about taking pride in yourself and the hard work you do. So, I just hope that I can continue buying these $1.58 drinks for the rest of my life.

Reblogged from 他妈的关闭